Why not outsource our Parliament itself?!



As my fifth consecutive and final editorial related to the Mumbai terror attacks and to what we should be doing, this time I am going to write down four random thoughts that are coming to my mind... I hope by the end of the editorial, you can find some relation between all of them and some meaning out of it. The first thought that drives me infuriatingly mad tonight, as I sit down to write this editorial, is that it will all happen again... and too soon, because we have learnt no lessons. Just today, as I boarded the flight from Kolkata to Delhi, I walked into the airport with my large handbag, and was – to my astonishment – not subjected to any security check of any kind. The sickeningly lax security guards standing at the main entrance did not even check anyone’s identity card, leave alone checking our bags using some metal detector, although a security screening gate is kept right outside the entrance. As I walked in, I felt like throwing shoes – the way the Iraqi journalist did recently – at one and all of our politicians for being such shamelessly unrepentant frauds. They just give crappy lip service even when the entire nation is fuming and hurt. Even at key risk areas like airports, they haven’t yet put any kind of real security. Three people like me could have walked into the Calcutta airport today without being checked, and then taken out guns and once more held hostage the entire airport filled with thousands of passengers, and created mayhem! (And probably, this might well be the reality soon at some airport or mall). So let me tell you all. Nothing, simply nothing has changed! These bloodsucking vampire bats who rule this country will do nothing but speak garbage and hope that as per the law of probability, another attack would not happen soon. That is all... The second thought that comes to my mind is corruption. It feels sick to know that all the killed terrorists and the one caught alive (and probably the fifteen odd who escaped) were carrying 400 dollars with them. It is such a common joke for terrorists that they were indeed all carrying that sum since that was the exact amount of money that our marine inspectors take as bribe to let people off in the seas. So, to go back through the seas after the mayhem, the terrorists needed that money to bribe our coast guards. What a shame to know that our borders are so porous everywhere and our defence is so much on sale. And let me tell you it’s not just the coast guards, it’s everybody, just everybody who is up for shameless sale. What a pity! They buy faulty guns, faulty rockets, faulty bulletproof jackets, faulty everything… and don’t think twice before selling their souls and putting the entire nation on sale. Until these criminals and spineless swines – almost one and all politicians – rule this country, we will have just too many more Mumbais. And all our people will do is form useless human chains where a few actors will come deliberately looking like plain Janes and get a photo-op. Trust me, it’s time for more... as I have been writing nonstop in my past edits! It’s time to grab the power away from these slimy soul peddlers; they are not just corrupt, they are corrupt to an extent that is completely unimaginable. They aren’t swindling away simply a crore or so; they are swindling this nation out of hundreds and thousands of crores, and that too on an individual basis depending upon their portfolios. They have their venture funds and private equity funds in benami (undisclosed); and these politico-criminals are investing even in education, hospitals and everything. And the sad truth is that everybody knows which politician has what kind of fund size and is investing where, and who owns which company and how the markets are manipulated up and down. But no one dares to write all this because then the government will devastate them the way they taught Tehelka a lesson. Nehru had once said that every black marketer should be hanged from the nearest lamp-post. By his definition, all the lamp-posts around Parliament House should have been used to hang these very corrupt soul-sellers and nation betrayers. Sounds too strong? But that’s how it is! The third thought that comes to my mind as our politicians irresponsibly speak of war, is that though we must avoid a war, the LETs, the Dawoods and all such negative forces have to be necessarily wiped off. And I don’t realise why our intelligence doesn’t think of a special suicidal patriotic task force, whose job will be to go to these terror funding countries unofficially and kill the dangerous individuals and come back the way, say, the Israeli Mossad can do (whenever required, openly), or the way CIA has been doing in a clandestine manner forever, by carrying out killings all over Latin America and its bordering countries to put in favourable governments from time to time. And to quote an alternate think for our pathetically characterless and charlatan politicians, this force can be made up of terminally ill patients who – despite knowing they might not have long to live – would love to make their life be of huge service to this nation. I say this radically because we have to avoid wars but we must destroy these negative forces as well. And for that, we must try out alternate sources before going for a war. Finally, it’s unfortunate; but the truth in India is that if you need good roads, don’t give the contract to an Indian company... for an Indian company will cheat and make roads that break off in no time. If you need better airports, never give the contract to an Indian company... for it will cheat and swindle money. So the buzzword is, outsource the job to a foreign company. They will, in all probability (after giving the initial kickback to secure the contract) do the job honestly; and we will have better roads and airports and every other public service, as has been proven in the past. By the same logic now, our Defence Ministry is thinking of ‘outsourcing’ our coastguards to a foreign country / company to be sure they don’t take bribes (what a huge, huge, huge shame that our politicians have created such an environment of corruption in India that they can’t even trust their own people to guard the country honestly)... If this is indeed to be done, then why shouldn’t the people of India also think of outsourcing our country’s Parliament seats – including the Prime Minister’s job – to foreigners... To Barrack Obama and his team maybe! At least we would know that we are in safe end genuine hands, where no effort is farcical and no promise a mere, pathetic and shameless lip service! This new year, take a simple pledge. Say no to lip service. Hope that conveys it all. Happy New Year!

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